My experience with mental illness started January 2016. I didn't realize that I was suffering from depression until my family brought it to my attention out of concern for me. I was slowly shutting down in all aspects of my life.
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In early 2014, my 39-year-old husband died suddenly. Without warning or consent, at 37 years old, I was a widowed single mother of 6 year old twins.
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The past four years have been pure hell. I faced a battle of depression, social anxiety, low self esteem, and self confidence brought on by the diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Failure.
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I had always been an anxious child, but I was not diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder until I was 15.
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I think I always had the signs of an anxiety disorder, growing up with a lot of trauma. My father raised me on his own until I was eight, all while battling a drug addiction and mental illness.
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I first developed depression in my early teens after my family moved to another state.
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From shattering mirrored doors out of rage, to crying myself to sleep, mental illness controlled my life for many years. Fighting against my illness was a long, painful journey, but it has grown me to be a stronger person and has given me the ability to relate to so many people suffering with similar struggles.
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In December 1995 at 7 years old, I was diagnosed with liver failure, and within 6 days I had only 10 percent chance of surviving. The transplant was successful, and ever since then my liver has been fine.
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I was a happy baby. Content. Cheerful. Pleasant. As I grew older, that bright side of me remained but a darkness infiltrated my being. It was a cancer of negativity in my thoughts. It wasn’t just my brain. Depression runs in my blood. Both my father and his mother struggle with this disease. My father bravely battles while still achieving worldly success in the medical field.
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