Caitie

*Trigger warning: Attempted suicide*

I had always been an anxious child, but I was not diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder until I was 15. Depression hit at 19 and spiraled out of control by 23 when I attempted suicide.

Anxiety and depression have seriously affected my life. I have found myself not being able to function the way society expects of us. Sometimes I couldn't make it to school or work, or sometimes I would have to leave social events due to an anxiety attack. I would miss out on things that I felt passionate about and should have been able to enjoy. There are still times that this happens, though it is far less often. I have now found the confidence and drive to travel and work remotely under my own expectations. I have accepted the fact that sometimes I just need time to rest and care for myself. I am in the midst of rediscovering my passion for music and singing, which was my first true love. I participate in story-telling projects and organizations like the Humanology Project where I share my story in hopes of it helping somebody else. My outlook on life has changed entirely for the better because I have found my support system and a self-care regimen that works for me. Building your own support system and loving yourself is just as important as medical or psychological interventions.

“Mental illness does a really good job at making you feel undeserving of love and support, and there are even some people out there that can make you feel that way too.”

Mental illness does a really good job at making you feel undeserving of love and support, and there are even some people out there that can make you feel that way too. I'm not sure who or where I would be today without the love and support from my sister, parents, partner, family, friends, coworkers, and peers. They held me up when it was difficult for me to stand on my own.

Just remember that you matter. You may feel like you have been dragged in the mud, exhausted, insignificant, and ready to give up. But you have to remember you have been given this opportunity to make your own personal imprint on this lifetime. Some parts will be awful, but it makes the beautiful moments more worth it. The world would never be the same without you. You matter.