Jennifer H.
Samia Shahnawaz
I had been a victim of physical abuse as a child and was exposed to drugs and alcohol through my father, who was/is an heroin addict. I had been through a lot of things throughout my adolescent and at age sixteen my best friend died in a horrific drunk driving accident. This was the catalyst to my severe depression and downward spiral. I used antidepressants along with drugs and alcohol to silent the voices in my mind and the wanting to not be alive anymore and I started to binge and purge to feel better about myself. Becoming pregnant at 17 saved my life and made me ask for help. I now had someone else to think about, my life wasn't just mine anymore. And I had a wanting to be the best I could be because I wanted my child to have what I didn't have. This gave me a purpose, I had to change.
“Becoming pregnant at 17 saved my life and made me ask for help. I now had someone else to think about, my life wasn’t just mine anymore.”
It was when I became pregnant that I became more honest about how bad my situation was. I was able to be honest because I had to be. Fully honest. I have been on a journey of medicines and therapy and correct diagnosis ever since. I've been learning about my illness, understanding my triggers which is extremely helpful. I also write poetry to release my feelings. My husband helps as well, even though he doesn't claim to understand my moods or my sadness- he's there to hold me and listen. I also focus on helping others ending stigma through being a member of the Edmonton Mental Health Awareness Committee we advocate change in mental health. This let's me give back and have focus.
“You can’t be afraid of judgement. Talk to someone when you’re in that dark place, let someone know how you are feeling.”
My advice to others is- It's hard but be honest, especially bone chillingly honest, but you need to be. Be honest with yourself and your doctor. You can't be afraid of judgement. Talk to someone when you're in that dark place, let someone know how you are feeling. This is hard but keeping everything in makes things worse. If you need medicine, try it. So many people are against it , but if it can help you feel better than why not?! Get therapy and learn about your illness, knowledge is power!
Some of my hobbies include writing poetry to release my emotions. I also advocate for mental health awareness and organizations underfunded and under acknowledged trying to make the mental health community better. I'm a mother and a wife so I love being with my family.